A Philadelphia Eagles Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, all the birds at the nest. From McNabb to Dawkins, and 2017’s best.
Reminiscing about history, wishing Hurts good luck, in came special delivery, it read ‘Dallas still sucks
.’There were so many Jalens; Hurts, Reagor, and Mills; and a Hall of Fame left tackle that came from the Bills. Andy Reid dropped by but said he couldn’t stay. Chip Kelly sent a postcard that said, “the weather’s better in LA.”
Under the tree was a Wentz wagon, full of present galore. A catch for everyone, unlike Agholor. There were multiple weapons; Ultimate and X, and a signed football; the father of Rob and Rex.
There were offense and defense, even special teams came home! From Akers to Elliott, Johnston, and Jones. Bud lights for all, a toast; DILLY DILLY! Then Nick Foles came in, said: “do you want Philly Philly?”
It was a Philadelphia Miracle, unlike ever before. Herm Edwards and DeSean Jackson both say “are you sure?” Two miracles in the Meadowlands, 44-6, Super Bowl 52, and 4th and 26.
So many Eagle greats, what a sight to see. Fly Eagles Fly, on the road to victory. Doug Pederson said ‘Men, there’s ice cream to the right. Merry Christmas to all; and to all a goodnight.
In the heart of the Christmas spirit, your friends here at PHLEaglesNation put together a mash-up of some in the Eagles organization and a few famous fictional Christmas characters.
Happy Holidays and Enjoy!
Santa Claus // Doug Pederson
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The man, the myth, the legend himself; Santa Claus, resides in the North Pole and is known as the ruler of all things in the spirit of Christmas.
You know the whole:
“He’s making a list and checking it twice; He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Santa Claus is coming to town! He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good; so be good for goodness sake!”
You could consider Santa the Christmas head coach. This is why Doug Pederson is the Philadelphia Eagles version of Santa Claus. Let’s face it could you really deny the coach responsible for bringing the longest-reigning item on everyone in Philadelphia’s Christmas list to the City of Brotherly Love?
While Pederson’s 22-23-1 record since his aforementioned Super Bowl victory isn’t the best representation of the success. With a Super Bowl title, three consecutive playoff appearances, and the chance of a fourth in reach, could Eagles fans have asked for anything more since his arrival in 2016?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer // Jalen Hurts
Could this even be more accurate? If Doug Pederson is Santa then how fitting is it that Jalen Hurts is the man Santa looked to save Christmas?
Well in this case to save the 2020 season.
However, before becoming the reindeer we all know and love, Rudolph wasn’t always taken in by the bunch. They laughed, called him names, and wouldn’t even let the poor fella play any of the reindeer games. All because he was different, well it turns out him being different from all the other reindeer was Rudolph’s best attribute and what caused him to gain his traction in the long run.
Well, think about how many Eagles fans you knew that was highly upset with the thought of Howie Roseman taking a quarterback in the second round when there were so many different players that could have helped impact the team and Wentz immediately.
“Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say; Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight? Then how the reindeer loved him. As they shouted out with glee. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer — You’ll go down in history!”
Well, fast forward to the modern-day and how the times have changed. Doug Pederson declared the team needed a “spark” to get them going, and just like Rudolph guided the sleigh for Santa. Hurts is guiding the offense for Pederson. While the play of the offense has shown minimal improvement in its entirety since the quarterback change, Hurts’ individual impact has changed the entire view of the offense based on the eye test. Decisiveness when making decisions with the football, moving the offense forward consistently, and most importantly taking care of the football.
You can make the argument Hurts is a better fit for the Pederson offense than Wentz himself.
Frosty the Snowman // DeSean Jackson
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Boy, the resemblance these Eagles players have to some of these Christmas characters is pretty scary when you think about it.
“Frosty the Snowman, was a fairy tail they say. He’s made out of snow, but the children know, he’d come back again someday.”
It feels like it’s been ages since the Eagles had a legitimate deep threat. Torrey Smith did well in the role but suffered an occasional case of the drops. Bryce Treggs, Paul Turner, and Dorial Green-Beckham are all out of the league. Marken Michel raised hopes during the 2019 preseason. Yet there hasn’t been a receiver to grace a uniform to have the abilities to take the top off a defense quite like DeSean Jackson.
So when Jackson returned to Philadelphia in 2019 even at the age of 32, there was plenty of reason for optimism. Just the thought of even one person who could stretch the field effectively (and yes it was literally one person) was enough to have Eagles fans salivating over the thought of the potential outlook of the offense. And that outlook came to fruition as Jackson torched the Washington defense for 154 yards and two touchdowns.
Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.
“Ooh Frosty the snowman knew the sun was hot that day so he said, ‘Let’s run and we’ll have some fun now before I melt away.’ Down to the village with a broomstick in his hand. Running here and there all around the square saying ‘catch me if you can!’ He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler ‘Stop!’ Oh, Frosty the snowman had to hurry on his way.
But he waved goodbye, saying ‘Don’t you cry, I’ll be back again someday.”
Well, since that moment Jackson has played in seven out of a possible 32 games. A three year, $27m contract (now looking more like a two year, $18m contract) seemingly gone down the drain. And while there are reports that Jackson should be available to play in the final two games of the regular season, the damage has already been done.
Jackson will always be known as an all-time great Eagles player and one of the best deep threats in the history of the league. However, his second stint in Philadelphia should be considered a failure based on what was expected from him. Just like Frosty the Snowman, Jackson seems to disappear and reappear at his leisure at this point. Though he always has hit fingerprints on the game plan when the Eagles have him at their disposal. So expect to see a lot of Jackson if/when he returns this season.
Charlie Brown // Jake Elliott
Let’s face it when anyone thinks of Charlie Brown, the first thing that is the whiffed kick attempts.
Almost as funny as, missing a 22-yard field goal. Oh, right.
However, the true meaning of Christmas is, to cherish giving more than receiving. To reflect on those around you and the moments you’ve been able to create during your time together. To show your appreciation for the lack of better terms.
While Elliott may not be having the best year of his career. He has had more than his fair share of big moments in recent history. From the game-winner against Houston to the dagger in Super Bowl 52.
The Grinch // Howie Roseman
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“You’re a mean one, Roseman. You really have no chill. You’re a savvy salary cap(per), players call you a backstabber. Roseman!”
Well, just when you thought it couldn’t get any more accurate, we drop another bomb on you. You’ve heard of The Grinch who stole Christmas, well here is The #HowieSZN that Stole Joy.
Where should we start, Howie Roseman has recently been the epitome of everything that is the Grinch. To give you a little background on the Grinch, he was…. let’s just say different compared to his comrades in the town of Whoville. While the spirit of Christmas and cheer took center stage in Whoville, the Grinch lived just to the north of the town on what was known as Mt. Crumpet.
Why the Grinch hated Christmas? Well, initially it was thought to be because:
Eventually, it was found out that the Grinch originally lived among The Who’s, but let’s just say his childhood was, unusual:
Anywho (no pun intended), the Grinch after years of pain came up with an elaborate plan to rid Whoville of Christmas.
Typical Roseman’s’ smartest man in the room’ activity.
“That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? That’s what it’s always been about. Gifts, gifts… gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts. You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I’m saying? In your garbage.”
Yet after encountering Cindy Lou, the Grinch becomes quite fond of the little Who, and his innocent ways. It is here for the first time we are able to see the Grinch in a way we’ve never seen before. Forgiving, understanding, and loving; words that you’d never thought be used to describe the Grinch. Thus leading to him reneging on his plan and returning the gifts to the citizens of Whoville before Christmas was ruined.
Could it be that Roseman initially had good intentions?
Working his way up through the ranks since his hire as an intern in 2000. Made a few mistakes, learned a few lessons, but realized that in a city like Philadelphia, each ‘process’ is graded on no curves. The thought of immediate results or bust became the driving force behind every decision he made. The smartest man in the room, as we said before. In the process of trying to “do what’s best for the Philadelphia Eagles”, Roseman has created a multitude of inconvenient circumstances.
Excited about your franchise quarterback? Give him a contract… and then draft his eventual replacement in the second round the following year.
Express “Hope is not a strategy when it comes to injuries, When you bring in guys that are injured, it obviously increases the risk that they’ll get hurt again.” Then proceed to once again count on injury-prone players to be ultra-productive.
Proclaim “I will do a better job, I will do whatever I have to to make sure I do a better job and we continue to make good decisions.” Then continue to make questionable decisions.
What messages are you exactly trying to send? No one is truly sure.
But if Roseman’s back once again, the joy will be no more.
Featured Image: Joe Hamilton
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