New to Football or the Eagles? Here’s a Quick Cheatsheet to Sound Like a Pro
The Eagles’ regular season is finally upon us.
This Sunday we get to watch our Philadelphia Eagles start their pursuit of their third Super Bowl.
While I could break down the upcoming matchup, I want to reach a new audience: new fans. Maybe you just moved to Philadelphia, are new to watching football, or want a refresher on football terms. Listen, I have you covered. And if you’re a veteran of the game, enjoy all the clichés written because you’ll see them everywhere.
Before we start, I get it. Why would I do this when I could talk about the team and give you stats on how I expect them to play? Well listen I could. I’d tell you that Nick Sirianni and Jalen Hurts are undefeated in Week 1s (5-0). I could pull stats on why making Jordan Davis captain makes sense and why he should play well (career highs in sacks, tackles, tackles for loss, passes deflected, and quarterback hits last year).
Finally, I’d wrap it up with some insight into the Commanders and why the Eagles offense should dominate.
There’s no stat for this besides an insider saying their offensive line is one of the worst they’ve seen in years.
Football Clichés
Alright, so I’m going to start by breaking a rule of writing. I’m going to assume you know something about football. If you don’t, we’ll start with the basics. First, you need to score more points than the other team to win. Second, scoring typically works in 3s and 7s: field goals and touchdowns, respectively. Last, there 4 quarters, each 15 minutes. So, to sum up the three objectives: score more points than the other team in 60 minutes.
Alright, enough rambling; here are phrases you can use to sound like you know what you’re talking about. First and easiest is when your team is losing, say, “plenty of time left.” Also, you get bonus points if you say this while down a lot of points (16+ with less than 2 minutes left). FYI, they can’t win here, but crazy things can happen.
For example, Eagles story time: let’s watch the Miracle at the Meadowlands II.
Next, we’ll start with some pre-game sayings. Hit your next watch party with a “they need to establish the run,” right before the game. That’s the go-to phrase for any team that wants to dominate. You do that to control the clock. If you control the clock, you can limit how much the other team’s offense is on the field.
Next we have the classic phrase, “no stupid turnovers.” This means avoiding bad interceptions or fumbles. Stands to reason that giving the ball away on offense is bad. Ideally, your team has no turnovers, but that’s not exactly realistic. Your team should avoid turnovers in the red zone or when they first get the ball. Either would set the other team up for an easy score or give them the momentum of stealing points from you.
Eagles Clichés
Okay, now we’ll start going into specific clichés for this Eagles team. First we’ll start with, “dominate the trenches.” While this can apply to any team, it’s very important for our Eagles. The Eagles have always wanted excellent offensive and defensive line play.
If they want to be successful, here’s the best place to start. It’s also the backbone of the last Eagles Super Bowl win. They had a 2,000-yard rusher in Saquon, and we all remember what the defense did to Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl.
If not, let’s refresh your memory.
Next up we have the old, “I want to see them spread the ball out.” The offense will look different this year with AJ Brown leaving and a new offensive coordinator coming in. Both will allow new players to step up. To be successful in the passing game, you want players to be open. If you become one-dimensional, other teams will know what you’re doing and cover those players. The Eagles also have a surprising amount of talent in the receiving room with Smith, Lemon, Wicks, and Goedert, to name a few. While it won’t be good for a fantasy team manager, it will be good for a Super Bowl pursuit.
Lastly, your Eagles go-to phrase is just a simple, “be calm.” Listen, I know it’s not always feasible, especially for Eagles fans. In some cases, you’re better off telling your significant other to “relax” during an argument. That said, we can’t call for people to lose their job before the sun sets on opening Sunday. We have 18 weeks of regular season games. Not to mention the ideal playoff push right after.
So there it is. Hopefully you learned a couple of things if you’re new or got a couple laughs if you’re already a veteran. We’re so close to the regular season, there might be a game on tonight as you’re reading.
Don’t worry though, I’ll have a more focused article next week when we actually get to the season.
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